Alex and I lead fairly small lives. We dont eat glamoursly and we dont take exotic vacations and we arent superstar popular. I like to buy a lot of our stuff at the thrift store. I'm pretty much a fertility failure. I take all these things in stride. It's who we are and I wouldnt want to change that, except for maybe taking one exotic vacation in my life. That would be fun.
Since we adopted Lev, I've been thankful for many things: adoption, jobs, birth families. I often sit at night and look at Lev as he pounds down the 2 AM bottle and think about the miracle that his life is- about how his birthmom didnt want to continue the pregnancy but did anyway. How she carried him, gave him life and chose us to be his parents. It's powerful and it makes me cry a lot. But lately my graitude lagged as the bills have been pouring in and "debt", all for good things, starts mounting. We'll be paying this off for several months to come. But I digress.
I was at the lawyers office today, signing the adoption petition. The she broke out the fee scale and once again, I was totally dismayed at the 4 digits that the fee comprised. It never seems to end, even though the end is in sight. Then right after that, she shared information with me about Lev's birthfather. She let me keep the background report and I read it while I was eating lunch adn L finished his snooze in his carseat next to me on the floor. I just thought the birthfather was kind of irresponsible. But being irresponsible would be a vast improvement over his current condition which is not good. He owes a lot of people a lot of money and then there is a criminal record that made my stomach lurch a little bit. It made me realize that whatever rosy ideas I had about meeting that side of Lev's birthfamily are now totally gone. It's safe to say that we will never allow him with us so we can guarentee our sweet son's safety. It hurts to write that. But it's necessary.
This adoption has cost us financially and it's going to put the next one on a slight delay, which kind of stinks. But as I let myself go back to the things I read about this man in the report, I came to realize that the money is nothing becuase Lev is ours and he's safe and he's loved by more people than I can count besides Alex and I. And the money honestly is nothing. I would gladly do it all over again for Lev.
I'm still digressing. Lev's life is safe becuase the Lord used us to save him. We almost didnt adopt domestically, and now more than ever, I am glad that we did. It was infinitely worth it.
1 comment:
Charity,
We didn't have access to good insurance when we had our second child and it cost us several thousand dollars, too. But it really is worth it, and the money will continue to fly out the door as the children grow :) So getting your stride in the expenses that come with parenting really helps! You and Alex will be great at finding a good balance. Like you said, though, raising children is so precious and I'm so glad that you and Alex have little Lev to share that experience with.
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