Ramblings.

Sometimes, I wish I could write a post that starts out,

Dear Mr. President,

I admire your constant, lofty pontification about how America will become great again, but in the mean time, you've kind of screwed me and my family over with your rediculous medical insurance overhaul... Thanks for that. I secretly kind of liked you for a while, becuase you like basketball and drink a decent beer.I really wanted to see you succeed. But, you clearly have no idea what you are doing. I hope you lose in 2012.

But I wont finish that letter.

Let's just say that in December, Alex's company called a huge meeting and basically said, "We cant afford the new healthcare regulations taking place effect in January, so everyone gets a super high deductable HSA which covers nothing except well baby checkups and one physical a year. Good work, everyone." What can I say? I wont say anything. I'm thankful Alex has a job.

Meanwhile the current insurance we had decided not to pay Lev's hospital bills becuase soon, the new healthcare regulations were going to go into effect. We tried to get him medicaid based on his adoption status, but that was an epic fail, and then we had to have a test for Lev at UNC becuase he's had some chronic congestion. And then the new insurance decided not to pay his well baby checkups for some reason. I took him to this new pediatrician because the insurance said it would cover his well baby checkups. We'll be chatting again on Monday with the insurance, which will make the score, Insurance 500, Charity- 1 pity point becuase I'm constantly on the phone with an insurance company AND being respectful.

I know I like money too much. No one needs to tell me that. And it's worth it to run yourself into the ground adopting children when you cant have your own. It's not for everyone, but it's worth it. And I know that I am a child of God no matter where I go or what I do, I am always a child of God. But right now, with defeat after defeat week after week, and sometimes every day, it's had to swallow my pride and realize that it's going to be ok and to remember that I am a child of God. And everytime I pay a bill, I struggle to remember that I am blessed to pay this bill. I am blessed to know that we have money to pay off the bills we've incurred. I am extra blessed becuase I have a baby to rock and hold and who I can take to a doctor when he needs some extra help. It's everything I can do to not be bitter in prayer. I can see how the Lord kicks things out from under me to increase my faith, and I can feel happiness about that. really, I can.

But is it so wrong to just want to stop dealing with insurance companies and wishing political defeat on elected officials? I'm still working through that. And I just need to keep going and keep in mind that this season of life is not forever.

But the upside? We've amassed large amounts of air miles on our Credit Card in addition to the large amount we already had. Alex wants to go to the Bay Area. I'm thinking a small island with drinks that come in coconuts and my back log of magazines, or a week in Maine next summer. I think I'm going to lose.

I'll post pictures of our back yard this week. I promise.