My parents are moving here, sometime in August probably. I'm actually very excited about this, and looking forward to it. My parents aren't the type to just pop over when they feel like it, so I know I am safe from the dreaded parental meddling that some people who live near their parents fear so much.
But it was with a shock of fear the other day that I thought to myself, who's going to watch out for Grandma and Grandpa? We can't just leave them there!
My grandparents have both been gone for a couple of years. But the fact that I can visit my parents and go to cemetery and see their headstones is kind of comforting. I went by myself once, and sat between their graves and remembered them. I did spend some time thinking about how I was a crappy grandkid, but mostly I remembered all the things I learned from them. And I find this comforting. I think a lot of people do. It helps me to feel that by showing up and sitting there between them, or making sure that weeds aren't covering the markers and that thick, sticky- when-wet sourthern red dust isnt obscuring the words, that they aren't forgotten.
On a practical level, I know they wont be forgotten. But cemeteries are for people left behind; for the living, to go there and feel that connection you had with the person who's gone. So I feel that if I lose the ability to visit that cemetery, I'll somehow lose that connection to them. If I cant place flowers, or brush the dust off their headstones, I feel like I cant take care of them. It's one of those aspects of loss that doesnt make a lot of sense unless you live with it I guess.
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